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[Alphas] Why You Should Allow What You HATE… 3 Alpha Life Cycles – Surrender #2

Why You Should Allow What You HATE…​​​​​​​


This month talking about Surrender and why you’d want that (and you DO want that). To Surrender you must: Receive, Allow and Ask. 


Last week we got you started by Preparing You to Receive. Receiving is not automatic! Step 2 for Surrendering is Choosing to Allow. Let’s help you do that now…


Short version:

Surrender attracts help from sources stronger than you only if you can take your focus off of what needs changing and trust someone ELSE leading you to safety in their own way. 


Remember when we talked about the Double-Edged Trait of Planning and how being too rigid is bad? Allowing unlocks miracles and lets in things & help beyond your control (which is where almost all the good stuff comes from if you’ll admit it.)


Allowing has two principal parts – Agreeing, where you stop resisting what IS and Following, where you let another lead you.


Part 1: AGREE That Your Adversary is Good aka Turn the Other Cheek (& Other Stuff We Hate)

Whether you read the bible or not, you’ve heard: When someone hurts you/offends you, you should turn the other cheek. What? Seriously? Yep. They just didn’t explain WHY.


Universal Law says whatever you resist (i.e. are ticked off about/trying to change/worrying over) persists. Your focus calls out to the condition & invites it to stay just so you can KEEP focusing on it. Your INSISTENCE that this condition MUST change in order for YOU to be happy, is the exact belief the Universe is trying to get you to change.


When you STOP insisting things need to be different from how they are (i.e. you begin ALLOWING) the condition can fade away.


How do you start AGREEING with your adverse conditions? By knowing the sucky condition is serving a purpose. Then you can allowing it to exist while being less angry in your heart and with less plotting in your head. Get curious about how this situation can HELP YOU. Alphas pretty much hate this plan: Stop trying to FIX the condition and shift your beliefs on what MUST be changed from IT to YOU.


When you NEED things to change, they fight you. When you relax, it’s easier. One reason? People dislike helping desperate, needy people.  This is counter-intuitive but true. When you allow whatever it is with less fight and friction, you increase your ability to shift it.


I have seen marriages saved when they stopped fighting the divorce. Women get pregnant when they stop trying and go to adopt. Weight gets lost when you accept yourself how you are and love gets found when you begin living for your personal happiness instead of “hunting” a mate. 


If what you hate is a teacher, learn the darn lesson already so it can GO!


How to Follow for Alphas (And Other Leaders)


We’ll make this part simple. And for fun, I’ll continue my bible borrowing. This one is: Do Unto Others As You Would Have Done Unto You.


That’s it. That’s how you follow. You accord the person you are surrendering with the SAME respect that YOU would want if YOU were leading them.


Don’t you hate it when people: micromanage, over-question, doubt, debate, undermine, resist, resent and correct you? Yep. Me too.


Do not do these things when your leader is leading you.


If you are surrendered in your relationship, those are ALL big no-nos. If you are surrendered in a business relationship same thing. If you give authority/control to someone, let them LEAD you.


Following is not submissive. For an Alpha or true leader, to follow is a great act of trust. SELF-TRUST.


You have to trust your own call to LET them lead. (FOLLOWING)

You have to trust your Source that the conditions around you are there for a reason. (AGREEING)

Self-trust is core of Allowing.


In Joy,



P.S  If you are getting the big picture, you can see that being able to surrender requires a very strong person. You Prepare to Receive, you Choose to Allow and next week we’ll learn to Confidently Ask.  When you can do all of those things, you are in BALANCE and in that place the most good can reach you. 


I am back from New Zealand and Australia! Headed next to Alabama to train the staff at the public library in Huntsville.  My surrendering is opening up the flood gates of my good and the perfect square of my life. It is NOT by fighting that I got what I have now and not by control that real love and more is rushing to meet me. Surrender has changed my life.

Let me know now if you want this for you…

Tanya Stewart is “The Alpha Woman Coach” and began coaching strong women as a Divorce lawyer in her own high conflict law firm 20 years ago. She understands how Alpha women are wired and using her Master’s level Metaphysics background and Advanced Clinical Certification in Hypnotherapy, she brings rapid change to people she works with. 


She is a speaker, published author and Mensa member whose coaching is recommended by the World-Famous Motivator, Les Brown, Best-Selling Love Coach Greg Baer and International Change Expert, Dr. Eldon Taylor. She can teach you to separate struggle from success. 


ALL My videos are always on my Vimeo channel HERE 

Find Even More on the Resources page of the website: 



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