You made it through the first month – the tough stuff. Now you understand better why you FIGHT with your men and family and friends. Now you see why CONTROL is our default method to keep ourselves safe.
The first step in my coaching is MASSIVE TRUTH. Then we take MASSIVE ACTION leading finally to MASSIVE TRANSFORMATION. Have you seen yourself in the Fight and Control cycles? Good.
Now let’s paint the yellow brick road to the final phases that Alphas want to reach…SURRENDER.
Yes dear, I know it “sounds” weak. However, it is the most powerful, most wonderful and safest place for you to be. Let’s show you what it looks like….
There are 3 steps to Surrender and the first step is learning to Receive, which Alphas are weak at. Receiving is physical and requires you to STOP and then express gratitude for what is being given.
You’ve heard me say that Alphas are poor receivers. It will make your logical brain very, very happy to now read a FORMULA for receiving! Receiving has a critical EXTERNAL part (Stopping) and an essential INTERNAL part (Gratitude).
When you are done fighting with everyone and trying to force things to happen to make sure you get love, you can begin your journey into Surrender. Surrender is where you get without earning.
Part 1: You Cannot Receive Until You Have Come to a FULL Hard STOP
Stopping is the subtlest and I’ve come to see, the most critical part of receiving. A story will help us here. I ran track back in high school (yes, I was fast in the old days!). I ran on relay teams in different positions, where you wait for the runner ahead of you to hand you a baton. The hand off is CRITICAL. If you blow the handoff, you can lose the entire race.
What was hard? We had to hand off the baton from a runner at the END of her race to a fresh runner STARTING her race. We were both MOVING. It is hard to give something TO a moving target and Alphas won’t stop moving!
You keep pushing, trying, asking, convincing. Even after you say, I’m done. I’m resting. I’ve let it go. You. Have. NOT. Your brain keeps gnawing at it. It keeps you up at night. Familiar?
Do you know why most miracles occur in the 11th hour at the very last moment? Because THAT is the very first moment you were willing to put down the baton that you are running with. That is when you are soo exhausted that you stop by falling to the ground in pure fatigue. You simply cannot go any farther.
To receive from a friend, a loved one, a company, your Source or anything easily you need to STOP making everyone chase your moving target!
This is why prayer works. This is why mediation works. These activities slow you down & pause you so that your good can catch up to you. It would shock you to know that your good is in fact chasing you and you keep moving.
When you want to receive something, use this affirmation or mantra (personalize it with your own words):
I am stopping now. I am done trying to make __________ work/happen. I am ready to receive guidance/help however it arrives. Help me get out of the way and clear the path for my good to easily reach me.
Part 2: To Receive You Have to Be GRATEFUL For What Is Being Given
I love you Alpha. Do you know how you often look at offers of help?
- They don’t think I can do it.
- I don’t want to get used to this because when I goes away, I’m screwed…
- What do they want from me in return?
- They aren’t strong enough to help me…
- I’m almost done anyway, it’s ok.
To be in Surrender you are in a feminine, receiving mode. You are HAPPY to be offered help and your glad acceptance is all the payment good people need to give it.
A begrudging acceptance of help is not grateful. You need only utter and master two words – Thank you.
Preparing yourself to receive means you stopping whatever you are doing and standing physically, mentally and emotionally STILL (you stop controlling).
You will need to be DELIBERATE about stopping. If you do not do this deliberately, I promise you will still be in motion to control somehow. Once stopped, then prepare yourself to say Thank You to your benefactor.
Surrender takes practice. This is where we begin…
P.S I entered Surrender just this year. It is worth it. I spent this past week in New Zealand with my mate. He got to see miracles surround us. We were in a place of stopping and gratitude. From this place it is very easy to see all the good surrounding you that you are not currently noticing.
Do you see more scenery walking or from a moving car? It’s the speed! Slow down and then find a way to STOP to begin receiving. The faster you are moving (controlling) the harder it is for your good to reach you.
Tanya Stewart is “The Alpha Woman Coach” and began coaching strong women as a Divorce lawyer in her own high conflict law firm 20 years ago. She understands how Alpha women are wired and using her Master’s level Metaphysics background and Advanced Clinical Certification in Hypnotherapy, she brings rapid change to people she works with.
She is a speaker, published author and Mensa member whose coaching is recommended by the World-Famous Motivator, Les Brown, Best-Selling Love Coach Greg Baer and International Change Expert, Dr. Eldon Taylor. She can teach you to separate struggle from success.
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