What Can Credit Cards Teach You About Relationships?
How did you do with last week’s “The Math” Mistake?
Now let’s talk about your Visa, or rather, how comfortable you are with the use of credit. Lines of credit are for businesses and home equity loans. Extended credit does not safely belong in healthy relationships.
Let’s open up our emotional wallets and see why you make…
The Visa Card Mistake.
Last Week: #1 Do The Math
Visa is a Role Model!
Yes, you should take a look at 3 of the basic policies of your credit card and ask if you apply them to your relationships.
Visa Checks Your “Credit” History BEFORE Granting Credit
Do you consider the emotional track record of a person BEFORE you give them credit and access in your Universe? When has Visa EVER just given anyone a card without a…credit check?
If they found out you never pay credit cards, would they give you one? NO. If you found out someone doesn’t know how to love or even want to, would you gamble on loving them? Often, yes!
Past behavior is informative and very often predictive. Can someone change? Yes, but people don’t do that frequently and almost never just for you.
If Visa Made Late Fees Voluntary,
How Many Would Pay On Time?
Visa Determines Your Limit By Ability to Repay Rather Than Need
Do you pretzel yourself for anyone in need, regardless of how they show up for you? When has Visa ever increased your credit limit WITHOUT an income increase, while you weren’t paying (misbehaving) AND were asking for more credit?
Alphas are rescuers. When someone arrives with their hiney on fire, we spring into action. All to often, we do not consider their “income” and ensure they have the ability to also support and provide for US. We look at their NEED not their SECURITY.
Visa never gave anyone a credit increase based on a statement of how much someone needed more money. Why aren’t you taking better care of your own feelings?
Visa Will Charge Late Fees if You Are Late Regardless of Your Prior History
Do you let people off the hook when they are “late”with your emotional support payments. Are they always “getting” today, with a promise to pay tomorrow, with no consequences? (Surely, they’ll square you up just as soon as THEY feel better…right? Right??)?
If Visa made late fees voluntary, how many people would pay them on time? How many people would pay late and believe their “reason” this month requires a special exception to a penalty? If there will never be a consequence for “shorting” you, there isn’t really a strong reason for paying you either.
You could pay your Visa perfectly for 10 years and then go 40 days late. The rules still apply and you trigger the penalty payment. Is it ever waived? Every once in awhile. Certainly not enough for it to be safe to not pay. If you are allowing people who have formerly had “good” credit , to now be “bad”” without consequence – you are reinforcing their unwanted behavior. So don’t be surprised when it continues.
Visa’s Rules Make Sense in Business and Love.
Do YOU Have Rules to Keep YOU Safe?
(And Do You Enforce Them?)
P.S. You should not be a FREE BANK of Not with money. Not with love (actually this kind of giving isn’t love, it is enabling.) Do you know why many non-profits fail? They think they aren’t supposed to CHARGE anything or make any money! You can come from a place of love but you still need to pay rent and buy food and postage stamps. You mustn’t overgive. Without overgivers (the Visa Mistake), there couldn’t BE any takers!
Tanya Stewart is “The Alpha Woman Coach” and began coaching strong women as a Divorce lawyer in her own high conflict law firm 20 years ago. She understands how Alpha women are wired and using her Master’s level Metaphysics background and Advanced Clinical Certification in Hypnotherapy, she brings rapid change to people she works with. She is a speaker, published author and Mensa member whose coaching is recommended by the World-Famous Motivator, Les Brown, Best-Selling Love Coach Greg Baer and International Change Expert, Dr. Eldon Taylor. She can teach you to separate struggle from success. ALL My videos are always on my Vimeo channel HERE Find Even More on the Resources page of the website: www.FearlessFocusCoaching.com/Resources