Looking vs Waiting (Hint: Quit Looking!)
It’s like we spend out whole lives looking. Looking for THE job, THE mate, THE house, THE therapist, THE money, THE big break. For most of you, this isn’t working.
I like unpacking the things you are doing without noticing them, because the blocks to your dreams are usually hidden right there, in plain sight. (If you know where to “look”, pardon my pun!)
Charles Stanley, Pastor
Our willingness to wait reveals the value we place on what
we are waiting for…
I constantly jot down notes for the magazine and what I’ll train you on. In the end, I always vet these against my heart. I’ve learned to be more careful and not go ahead and write the WHOLE thing and then check – as I have scrapped at least three complete blog posts and one complete magazine post.
Which brings us today’s training – Looking versus Waiting.
This is an every single area of your life. No exceptions.
Even when I sit to “figure out” what I’m going to train you on each week, I used to do it by “looking” for the topic. Now I don’t look for the topic, I WAIT for the topic.
Let’s dive into the concept of waiting. When I ask you to wait, the very first thing you feel in your gut is a contraction, because as an adult you’ve spent 20 to 40 years associating the word “waiting” with NOT getting, being frustrated, going without and other unpleasant things.
I want you to take a moment and unpack all the crap you’ve layered onto that word. Waiting is actually NOT a bad word. And if you’re using waiting the way I want you to use waiting – waiting with a confident expectation – it becomes a power word! It actually becomes a badass!
If you think of it, when movies and tv want to make a killer or evil thing seem SUPER powerful, what do they show it doing? Waiting. The power to sit and wait is so strong, it’s almost unnerving!
Let’s take a look at what happens when you are waiting – the Tanya way.
Waiting with Confident Expectation:
1) Because it is an expectation, I’m not wondering whether my thing is going to arrive – so I’m not worried.
2) Because I’m not worried, the waiting doesn’t bother me, distract me or consume my focus.
3) Because what I’m waiting for is not sucking up all my attention, I’m going on with my life and accomplishing other things.
4) Because I have not being a crazy person WHILE waiting, when my thing does arrive, I feel sane, happy and welcoming instead of exhausted, frustrated and needy.
Waiting, done the Tanya way, is a powerful background activity.
It’s something that’s just going on without you paying much attention to it. That, by the way, is the formula for wicked fast manifestations. You desire and expect it. You don’t resist it by worrying about it. And you’re so sure of it, that you go on and do other things while waiting for it to arrive, confident that God’s timing will work out perfectly for you.
I woke up the other morning and realized that I’m no longer looking for my soulmate. I’m waiting for my mate.
Do you get how powerful that is? No anxiety, no worry, no drama, no pushing or forcing, no settling, no overanalyzing (guilty of this one huh?), no doubting or clock watching.
Just like waiting for Christmas, it’s coming. It’s certain. I need do nothing to help it arrive. (And way the hell better…) I am doing nothing to SLOW IT DOWN.
When you are expecting, you can wait. When you are looking (which has doubt in it just like hoping), you try to control it and force it.
Have you ever bumped into somebody who’s down on their luck and then you hear them say those words, “I’m looking for a job…” Bleh.
Now you know how to translate that to, “I’m pushing, forcing, hoping but doubting I’ll get a job.”
Let’s shift gears and go up to a high spiritual plane for a second – “looking” is the next-door neighbor of “wanting” when it comes to energy. BOTH of them presuppose that whatever the desired thing is, it is NOT THERE YET.
The problem comes from the energy of the word “looking”.
You get what your energy is reflecting. If your predominate energy is focused on the absence of a thing, or the not “having” of a thing (i.e., the very reason that you are “looking”) you get more of the absence.
This is not to tell you that you shouldn’t be doing the work and taking action (which we usually call “looking”). It is to ask you to consider the motivation for your actions and the energy of your actions. Your motivation is usually the key determiner of your outcome.
My former desire for a soulmate was wanting somebody to love me totally. That doesn’t sound bad, right? Ahh. We are going deep today. Hold on.
My old motivation was lack and fear based. I craved somebody to love me deeply because I had not yet learned to love myself deeply. I was subconsciously trying to get somebody else to do my work for me, which cannot be done.
My new motivation for my soulmate is to love him (rather than BE loved) and to share all the good that I am and build a family that is overflowing in love. Much Better!
I know you have a whole laundry list of things that you are “looking” for in your life. Pick one thing and figure out what you need to do so that you can be “waiting for it with confident expectation” instead of “looking for it”.
Note: if the waiting is making you unhappy, it’s not Tanya waiting. I feel curious, excited and “almost Christmas morning-y”. Releasing the burden of looking is amazing but requires real trust in yourself and in the workings of the Universe.
I do not recommend you start with money or love or health – the biggies. Pick something small, like the perfect lamp for your nightstand. STOP looking for it and START waiting for it.
While you’re waiting, you’re listening for your intuition, nudges, hunches, urges and expecting coincidences to happen to guide you to that perfect lamp. Let these things guide your actions. This is actually how I navigate most of my days in ease and flow. I wait instead of push.
I’ve recorded an extra 3 min audio to this training. “Why Waiting the Tanya Way is NOT Passive”
Listen as my gift. It just felt like I should give you a little more. So I am.
I am not “Looking” for new clients. I’m actually running out of spots! But I am Waiting for those God sends while I am busy.
I serve who He sends and it feels marvelous. It is such an edge for me not to have doubt on who I am and who I serve.
Pick something you are looking for where the process of looking is annoying you. If it’s a job, waiting does NOT mean you stop reading job postings! It means you use your “waiting” on the end outcome. I am reading postings daily, updating my resume and going on interviews WHILE I am waiting for the position that makes my heart sing.
That can mean that you take a job that is not an “A” while you are waiting. No big deal. I will still go out dancing while I am waiting for my true mate! Shift your mindset from looking (and not finding) to: what if Tanya’s right and my good WAS secured, how would I proceed? How would I feel? Act from THAT energy and wait IN that energy.
Deep: Seek and Ye Shall Find really needs more explanation. Seek by Asking and then Allow by Waiting (Tanya style) and you will Find by Receiving. You may receive the “thing” itself or steps that lead up to that thing.
Deeper: Infinite patience brings immediate results. When you can wait “forever” you are in a place of total non-resistance and 100% allowing, which is the very definition of unconditioned love. When you hit this place of allowing (enlightenment), your good is given to you immediately. Or, to be uber esoteric and spiritually accurate, your good is NOTICED immediately, having always been available.
Wow, Did You Hear?
Nicole C. – Arbonne, Executive District Manager
Having a coach like you is invaluable – I have made the money over and over that I have spent which helps me further invest in my business and myself.
You bring SPEED so I get that FREEDOM faster! Thank you!!!
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