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When You Least Expect It…

When You Least Expect It…


Just when I had my post all planned out, I got a call from my best friend. She is 58, silver-haired and about 20 pounds overweight (her own words). OK, why am I telling you this?

Because she just got asked out by an attractive 38-year-old man. 
Ohh, so now you’re listening right?!?

I want to tell you the story because I want to show you the elements of the things I teach working in real life.

We are both self-employed and find ourselves working from home all the time. So we’ve made an effort to have workdays outside of the home. Her normal workday to do this is a Friday – but this week she had to switch it last minute to Thursday. She’s at the Starbucks working happily.

Eventually all that tea catches up to her and having to go to the restroom, she does what we all do – she turns to the closest person and says “Can you watch my stuff?”

Returning, happy and grateful she asks him what he’s working on. This sparks up a conversation.

Now here’s where the story gets awesome!

My best friend, who is white, is now looking at this 38-year-old attractive black man thinking… Holy cow Tanya needs to meet him! (I’ll be 44 on July 6th).

He’s a quality man, well-spoken and intelligent. In the tradition of every great best friend – she begins trying to sell this man… ON ME!

She shows him a picture of me on her phone. She even pulled up my website Fearless Focus Coaching (if you haven’t seen in a while you should check it out, it’s new and awesome) which has giant pro picture of me. He’s forced to agree that I’m a very attractive woman.

She tells him, earnestly and honestly what a great woman I am and that I (Tanya) deserve a great mate. 

Finally, he asks her “What about you?”

Because she is completely not trying to sell herself or make anything happen – she tells him honestly what she’s looking for, her deal breakers and what makes her happy.

And… He asked her if she would go out with him!!!

It had never occurred to her because she’s older and silver haired and probably because she’s white too.

Now-watch how this happened on energetic level:
  • She was being totally loving as she spoke about me
  • She was showing feminine generosity and kindness
  • She was completely relaxed and dressed in a hoodie with holes in it
  • She enjoyed the conversation and wasn’t trying to make anything happen (no Alpha pushing/engineering)

In short, she was being herself – loving, kind, funny, generous and wicked smart.

And…………….He LIKED it. 

is why women meet men when they’re not looking and this is how it works. When your guard is down and you least expect it, you’re actually being your true self, which is very attractive. You’re relaxed so whoever you’re with is relaxed. You’re happy, so it’s easy for him to be happy to.

We don’t know where it will go but this is a hell of a story! And I had to share it with you to show you that the people who love you the most, will love you just as you are and that is the best way to attract them is by doing the work to love yourself enough so that you can just be as you really are, wherever you are. 

Remember what I just told you last week, Alphas most want to be chosen and loved 
just as they are.


P.S. She had also JUST reached the place where she’d stopped worrying “where is he?” and felt peaceful in her own life. No. Not a coincidence. This guy doesn’t have to be her mate. He has just shown her that her inner beauty is more important than the body she had 30 years ago. We’d been working on accepting this truth! Need my help to do that?

P.P. S.
Their date is Sunday!!


​​​​I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE IT ALL.

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