[How To] The 18 Words You Want After ____ Hits the Fan

The 18 Words You Want After _____ Hits The Fan


Warning! Whether this is for you or someone else, this first aid CANNOT be applied while you are still in full spin! Immediately after the mess, you cannot hear ANY coaching or redirection. Love is the only thing that can get through, so be gentle with yourself to reduce the “spin”.


Once you or whoever you are helping can “hear you”, follow these 3 steps and 18 words.


First, you are going to Ground Yourself to kill the rest of the spin – a spiritual term but just think of electricity.  When you are grounded you don’t get SHOCKED!


Grounding Statement#1: This is friendly Universe.





I love Esther Hicks for bringing this to conscious discussion. You either think the Universe is helpful or hostile – in my book “neutral” is not good. (Much like those animal shows that film tiny fluffy animals about to get EATEN and cameramen stay “neutral.” My emotional reaction to Mutual of Omaha’s (tv show) neutrality is SORTA HOSTILE!)


If the Universe is helpful (and it is), then it’s actions are FOR your good.


Grounding Statement#2: This mess isn’t by accident, it’s by DESIGN.


An awesome & powerful German coach I love (Benedikt Dommes) just posted 

 this on FB:

“The greatest lie we tell ourselves is that we are NOT supposed to experience what we are currently experiencing. That this moment SHOULD BE DIFFERENT than it is showing up for us. That we should feel and behave differently or that other people should feel or behave the way we WANT THEM TO so that we can accept them (read: love them).” Emphasis & Parenthesis by Tanya.


If this moment is EXACTLY what you are supposed to be getting and the Universe is trying to help you, then complaining, running, avoiding and denying the mess came FROM YOU, are all exactly what you DON’T want to do.



Tanya’s Spiritual Logic: If it’s not an accident, it HAS TO BE Part of the plan to help me.


The Pivotal Question: So, How is this HELPING me?


Ask that 6 word question when you LEAST want to ask it.

How is this divorce helping me?

How is this breakup helping me?

How is this layoff helping me?

How is this diagnosis helping me?

How is this insane Boss helping me?


This is the culmination of many things I teach: your triggers are your teachers, lying to yourself blocks the flow of ALL good things and problems are not obstacles to be solved but rather they are GUIDEPOSTS to the real issue.

To do the 18 words you’ll need to be willing to tell yourself the truth.


This is friendly Universe.

This mess isn’t by accident, it’s by DESIGN.

So, how is this HELPING me?



Do you know how often people have to be FIRED out of jobs that don’t serve them, so they are FORCED to move on and find happiness?


How long after the breakup before you cautiously admit to yourself, he wasn’t really that GOOD for me (Hint: Epic Good Moments plus Epic Bad Moments = BASICALLY NOT GOOD FOR YOU).


What if you could let go gently instead of needing your hands slapped?


Wouldn’t life be easier? Wouldn’t the Universe breathe a massive sigh of relief, if you became OPEN to being shown you were wrong or missing something?


Let me know if you need me to slow your spin and help you use the 18 words. It would be my pleasure!








P.S. To my Alphas looking at their “mess” at this moment. I love you. The only way to NOT repeat this is to accept why it was sent. Do that and it clears up, resist it and it grows stronger.



​​​​​​​I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Resurrect Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE It ALL.





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