3 Steps to Understanding Why:
1 – Your ego always wants to be RIGHT so you are kept SAFE. Right = Safe
2 – New things are a danger to SAFETY, so you’ll be MADE to feel wrong if you approach them, as a deterrent.
3 – If you aren’t happy in any area, you’ll need to do something new, which is “dangerous” and will feel WRONG to your head.
Your ego dictates your beliefs so thoroughly that you stop noticing it doing its dirty work. Your head puts a discomfort barrier between you and what you NEED to do.
Relationships Require Risk to Generate Growth
In relationships, you are always being called to the next higher version of yourself. To reach this next version, you need to uplevel ‘aka’ learn the next new lesson.
Your ego will resist this because a) it’s new and therefore unknown and unsafe and b) growth is about love and egos are fueled by fear.
If you got that, you should now WANT to be made wrong.
I’ve often begun a coaching call with these words:
“There is something you THINK you are RIGHT about,
that you are WRONG about and
you need to be WILLING to be made wrong
so you can move the block you don’t know you have
to get what you really want.”
(Read that again, it’s that important)
Wrong = New = Dangerous -> Avoided
It is in your discomfort and willingness to be wrong that will break you free to your next highest level.
Otherwise, as long as you continue to be RIGHT, you stay put.
To love requires you to do something new, something uncomfortable and something therefore unsafe. Your ego will make you WRONG to keep you from doing any of that.
The hardest (and most loving) things I do as a coach is stand still and call you to the truth. I drop truth like grand pianos and I stand with you while it hits. If you stop running and really look into the areas that you think are just fine, you’ll often see a veneer covering up wounds.
Ask me to do this for you now…
P.S Meeting the love of my life, I am now laughing at things I “knew”.Years earlier I would’ve missed my Happily Ever After because I was going to be stay right about things that were surely obvious.
You do NOT want to be RIGHT. You want to be HAPPY.
My head was wrong about how love would motivate and change my mate. Thankfully, my HEART leads me and it was not! The ability to spot your preconceived notions, and FIGHT YOU if necessary to disagree, is one of the highest skill sets I give my Alphas. Should you be one of my Alphas?
P.S.S We picked an Oreo Cookie as our couple costume for Halloween! Chocolate and full sized candy bars at my place! His first EVER Halloween (he’s from Australia). Someone said it’s not “PC” – I laughed! We ARE black and white and awesome together just like that cookie!
Tanya Stewart is “The Alpha Woman Coach” and began coaching strong women as a Divorce lawyer in her own high conflict law firm 20 years ago. She understands how Alpha women are wired and using her Master’s level Metaphysics background and Advanced Clinical Certification in Hypnotherapy, she brings rapid change to people she works with.
She is a speaker, published author and Mensa member whose coaching is recommended by the World-Famous Motivator, Les Brown, Best-Selling Love Coach Greg Baer and International Change Expert, Dr. Eldon Taylor. She can teach you to separate struggle from success.
ALL My videos are always on my Vimeo channel HERE
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