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[Focus Mag] 4 Steps to Set Yourself Up for Success

Our FOCUS: Setting yourself up for success
You can use my 4 Step Formula which works for everything apparently – I’ve taught you to use it to make ANY kind of decision and figure out why you are stuck. 

1) Commitment         2) Clarity        3) Choices      4) Action

Now we’ll use it to set you up for success when you begin to do anything new. 

Success doesn’t just HAPPEN. Get ready to learn a simple plan you can begin applying today!


      Zig Ziglar, Author, Salesman, World Famous Motivational Speaker

You were born to win, but to be a winner, you must PLAN to win, PREPARE to win and EXPECTto win.” 


Today’s TRAINING: 4 Steps to Set Yourself Up for Success

Here are your 4 Steps: 1) Commitment     2) Clarity        3) Choices       
4) Action

Think of whatever it is you want or need to do. More sales? New business? Weight loss? Take action on your coaching? (I like that one A LOT). Got it? Now let’s run it through the 4 steps.

Step 1: Commitment

Commitment is where an Alpha needs to pick what she’s going to do. You’re going to pick it and STICK. To actually stick, you need to know WHAT it is clearly and WHY you want to do it. (And hopefully you “want” to do it instead of “need” to do it. We find ways to avoid stuff we “need” to do…) 

The question for commitment is “WHAT am I doing and WHY?”

The surest way to torpedo any project is to begin without a clear vision as to the goal that you are attempting to create. It wastes energy starting fuzzy. 

Please note, that I did not say that you needed to know HOW you were going to create it. You don’t need the HOW, you do need to know WHAT you want to accomplish.

A really obvious and easy example is say you want to enter a relationship with your perfect Alpha mate. You may not know “how” to meet him, but you can be very clear on WHAT IT IS YOU WANT and what kind of man he is. 

I have an Alpha right now working on that goal and she has attracted a number of very high-quality suitors (a date transporting her in a private plane quality). I just sent her the notes we created on WHO her man is, to remind her to stay on track with what she said she wanted originally – what she is COMMITTED to having. We figured out the WHO (her “what”) and God has been supplying the HOW.

Next, you need to know your WHY. The WHY is almost more important than the WHAT truthfully. If a woman is looking for a man to complete her, to overlook all of the areas in her life that are full of emotional junk and chaos and “just love her anyway”… she is in TROUBLE. That WHY is it at cross purposes to the Universe’s intention that we grow and heal our wounds.

Short answer:
 Not gonna work out. (You can’t opt of growing by having a mate that just says – “Nah, you’re fine.”)

When you’re setting yourself up for success, it is critical that your why is clean and focused on your highest values. 

Lastly, Alphas are ALL IN or ALL OUT women. So, you will be safest if you are all-in with whatever you’re doing.

  Agreeing to partial commitments or to “help out a little”. (Who are you kidding?? You won’t stop at a little, so don’t agree to “a little”.)  A partial commitment is like a man saying “I love you sometimes.” See? Less than worthless. 

Step 2: Clarity

The question to set yourself up for success with Clarity is “What is likely to screw me up or slow me down?”

Truth please.

Clarity is always all about telling yourself the truth.

Here you’re going to look for and identify all the walking on eggshell situations that could occur and eliminate those. Look for these: opportunities for negative comparisons, nervousness you’ll mess up, anyone looking for continuous perfect performance or YOU THINKING you need continuous perfect performance. 

Here I am introducing a new acroynym. S.F.L. I’ll give you two of the words.
STOP  @#!%@  Lying.  SFL to yourself.

 Not spotting the hazards on the path ahead because you are
not looking, pretending to be superwoman, don’t want to deal with what you’ll see or any other reason you use to hide from any ugly truths (i.e. lie to yourself). 

If you’re going to start a business and you know you are really bad managing money -you need to face that ugly truth. You need to look it dead in the eye and correct it or delegate it or figure out some other way to cover it. Otherwise, it will stop you and slow you down. 

If you have a busy time coming in your business and you know that your children or your lover distracts you – Clarity requires you to tell the truth about how distractible you are. Most Alphas are born Rescuers. So if your mate or your children send any type of “distress call” – you will probably drop everything and rush to their aid, whether they really need you or not.

Do you remember the ancient video game called Pitfall? The adventurer goes to the jungle and he has to swing on a vine over tar and traps and crocodiles. You have to be able to figure out in advance where your tar, traps and crocodiles are!

Be especially mindful of any situation where you feel like everything you do has to be perfect. Listen carefully: you WILL screw up! If you are in any kind of a relationship (personal, family, business or otherwise) where your performance must always be  A level, you’re in deep trouble Alpha.

If you find that you were not good at spotting and telling the truth about the ways your new project can go sideways, bring in a friend or a coach like me. Other people can see into your blind spots because our ego is not hiding the information.

When you find your traps, you must do something to fix them. 
Mitigate them. Avoid, swerve, deter and otherwise solve them before you get going. The keyword in that sentence was… Before.

Step 3: Choices

The Choice question is “What can I do to make this easier for me?”

In Choices, you are looking to make choices adding things that make what you want to do easier.

All praise crutches!
Everybody should be able to lose weight on their own. Weight Watchers IS a crutch. And…Weight watchers helps people lose a crap ton of weight.  If it will help you – use it!

Make choices that afford you extra speed.
 It is easy to use a map to navigate but most people use GPS now because it freaking talks to you! It’s easier to have your map tell you you’re going to turn right, than it is to lean across the console and try to find the darn street while you’re driving. 

Hiring an assistant is a crutch. I presently have a team of five. Paying to work in a cool workspace is a crutch. I am so productive in mine. Paying extra to get the pre-boxed protein shakes from Costco that I love – crutch! 

I have like 6 pounds of protein in my pantry. (Don’t judge!) My ego will tell you all day that I should be at home with a blender mixing that powder and almond milk. Ha, I like my crutch! It saves me time.

Pay extra to buy shirts that don’t wrinkle if you hate ironing. Figure out what choices you can make to make your project easier, so you get your success.

 Giving in to the “…but I SHOULDN’T need this help…” voice or going cheap. Pay the freaking money and smile while you do. Get good at paying for help!! It gives you speed and the only currency we all have equally is TIME. How are you using yours? Me? I’ll buy speed.

Step 4 – Actions

The Actions question is “What is my first step to take right now?”

I promise that any project you’re doing, considering or in the middle of, will work better if you do these four steps.

Setting yourself up for success means you pay attention to what you’re doing, why you’re doing it, what can block you, what you need to help you and where you need to start.

 This is where most of you want to start. So it’s no wonder you get frustrated or fail to reach your goals. It’s because you didn’t do Steps One through Three first.

I also teach that Step Four is where the Universe acts. Most people don’t begin anything because they’re waiting for the Universe to take action first. You’ve heard the famous quote, you take one step and God takes two. 

Take the four steps. Do the work. Build a path to success.

Go create something amazing! (And then give me partial credit… What? I’m your coach, that’s fair!).


Tanya Recommends:

Do you have young folks headed off to college? A friend tipped me off to this scholarship site!

It’s an app the performs scholarship matching for students. Easy and fast.

I still remember getting that huge phonebook sized book on grants and scholarships and slogging through it. I’d find one I liked and then realize I was not a male golf caddy of Irish descent!

Hope this helps your young people. Let me know if you get money!



Here is the practical tip for this week. DO the 4 steps. 

On paper is best but at least block out 30 measly minutes to run through a ‘lite’ version. It could change your entire life. 

Once you see how easy and reliable the 4 steps are you don’t have to feel overwhelmed anymore. Just stop. Breathe and whip out your 4 steps. 

What am I all-in on here & Why? What is in my way? What can I do to make my commitment work easier? Knowing all that, what is the action I start with?
The trick? Do it well before you need it. This is true with children also. Tell them the process for coming to you if they feel you’ve hurt them and tell them what you’ll do if they disrespect you. It takes extra anxiety out of the already stressful event!
We are creators and the 4 steps forces you to begin with the end in mind and HOLD onto the target while you are moving. That is a recipe for Divine Help, which arrives at Step 4. 

You tell the Universe what you want to create. You invest the energy in telling the truth about what is in your way and how you can HELP YOURSELF and then you begin where you can begin. That attracts miracles. 

If you are biblical, it connects to the parable of the widow in debt who was sent valuable olive oil to fill up as many jars as she invested the time to collect. The story teaches that we can only receive as much as we PREPARE ourselves to receive. The 4 Steps prepares you to receive and shows your active investment in your desire and so attracts success to your endeavor.

Wow Did You Hear?


 A Reader Appreciates the Message

“Thank you for showing that ONE may be more important than any other number.

If something doesn’t get started with ONE,  it may never get started. 

Great article.”


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