We are learning 4 of the strongest traits of an Alpha. Our tendency is to focus only on our advantage and ignore it as a weakness. Yes, we are Planners.
Now, Let’s look at you Alpha as the ANALYZER.
Last week’s Trait – The Double Edged Sword #1 – The Planner
Super Power Trait: Analyzing
Skill Set: The ability to use your mind to see new perspectives, project consequences, quantify, clarify and collect information and most importantly, spot future problems.
Weakness: You are superhuman analyzing skills tend to make you HARD. The better you are analyzing, the more you like to use your logic and mind to solve ALL problems. That makes you less capable of solving emotional and relationship problems especially where fear is present – because fear is illogical.
Superpower planning makes you naturally contemptuous of those “messy” emotions.
How does that screw you up?
You minimize feelings and exalt plans and “figuring it out”.
You’re educated enough to know that humans have three different brains.
The last brain that developed is the logical, reasoning and thinking brain or the New Brain.
The second oldest brain which governs the limbic system is also called the Mammalian brain and it is your emotional center.
The very first brain, is the so-called “reptilian brain“ and it runs your body’s physical systems.
Can you see it? Breathing. Emotions. Thinking. In THAT Order!
Science shows you what you already know, emotions come before logic. We decide everything emotionally first and logically second. Yet, we all lie to ourselves and think we are logical FIRST.
Alphas are highly skilled analyzers, but it comes at a cost to our ability to be able to handle and process emotions. And emotions can actually be a more useful skill than logic. (Think Mr. Spock from Star Trek…)
One of the words you want to watch for is efficiency. Anytime you’re trying to be “efficient”, you are in your analyzer! Your analyzer could give zero flips about people’s feelings IF their feelings cause gross amounts of inefficiency.
Oh, and just for fun, that includes YOUR feelings too.
Allow Your Feelings
The solution is to surrender to the way that you’re wired, which is to allow your feelings to BE important.
If you do not allow your feelings to be important, others will also not treat your feelings as important. Oddly enough, it will bother you when they do to you, what YOU do to you!
Alphas teach their children to de-prioritize their feelings to come up with the best plan, be efficient, get the results and achieve.
When running a corporation aiming to maximize profit, doing that can be a good thing in the short term. When running a life or a company you want to be sustainably healthy, not so much.
Repeat after me – feelings count. My feelings count. Their feelings matter.
There is one thing I found that is critical to secure the ongoing allegiance of an Alpha. Your Alpha leader must solicit and/or protect your feelings. They cannot only be analyzers.
Notice your thoughts around the emotions you see in others (soft, lazy, annoying, weak…). Whatever you think of THEIR emotions, you think of yourself when YOU have the same emotion.
Start allowing your feelings with less judgment. It will open you up to feel emotionally more available (and therefore Lovable!) to those around you.
Add an “emotions” analysis going forward to check yourself and others! It’s its on a checklist, you’ll do it.
P.S I am in Australia and it feels amazing here. This is the Murray River in the back yard. I somehow brought a warm streak with me. This is my view from my office here…
P.S. These are my photos of Gazanias, South African Daisies. They are growing on the sides of the road, in the middle of winter, during a DROUGHT. Stop listening to excuses why you cannot bloom now because of your job, husband, economy, health… Hit reply, Ask for help honey. It’s here for you.
Tanya Stewart is “The Alpha Woman Coach” and began coaching strong women as a Divorce lawyer in her own high conflict law firm 20 years ago. She understands how Alpha women are wired and using her Master’s level Metaphysics background and Advanced Clinical Certification in Hypnotherapy, she brings rapid change to people she works with.
She is a speaker, published author and Mensa member whose coaching is recommended by the World-Famous Motivator, Les Brown, Best-Selling Love Coach Greg Baer and International Change Expert, Dr. Eldon Taylor. She can teach you to separate struggle from success.
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