Who Is Your Help REALLY For?
Alphas are busy, busy women. We not only do our own “laundry” but we usually run a laundromat and take in loads from everyone else.
We are going to get clear today on when you SHOULD be doing someone else’s “laundry”, literal and physical!
Laundry Law #3
Only Do Laundry (Or Help Others) Out of Joy.
Everyone Needs to Do Their Own Laundry
You are soo good, at soo many things, including HELPING and RESCUING nearly anything: people, projects, relationships. You are pretty much addicted to helping in search of… THANKS! Approval. Appreciation. Affection (My Triple AAA).
Reasons Why You Should NOT Wash Someone Else’s Clothes or Struggles:
1) You are in the habit of doing it.
>Snap out of it. Autopilot is not your friend. Watch habits that enable.
2) Someone is “requiring” you to do their dirty work.
>Umm, NO. Stop it. (Unless you are 14. Then, yeah. Do the laundry).
3) They are unable or not capable.
>Train them. Teach them. Stop making those around you weaker. They need to handle their clothes and their own problems.
4) They don’t want to.
>Ask what you are “bartering” for, because you are. What are you trying to get by doing their work for them when they don’t want to?
Here is the ONE magic reason you can help others or do their laundry.
It brings YOU joy.
If you cannot find the “joy” in your service, you are “working” & looking for “pay”.
Whose Joy?? YOURS
Notice I did not say, do it for “love”. We have some universally crazy things we believe love sanctions. Do it for JOY and specifically YOUR OWN JOY.
I wash all my husband’s laundry. Why? Because I dreamed of having a mate that I could take care of in little ways. It makes ME happy that when he opens his undies drawer it is ALWAYS full of clean briefs.
My joy. Yes, he likes it but because this is MY joy, I’m a perpetual machine. I’m not looking for or dependent upon his noticing or thanking me for this. I “paid” myself. 🙂
When I help others with their lives these days, I do it for JOY. I used to help people because they NEEDED help. That is ego saying if WE don’t help, they’ll fail. If WE don’t help, it won’t be done right. If we DO help, we are subconsciously looking to be paid in need and love.
Start believing when you DON’T help, the Universe still makes a way for those who WANT a way made. They will get their stuff clean, if they WANT it clean and will do the work to MAKE it clean. Don’t take that away from those you love.
Now, go hand-wash that shirt that you keep putting off!
P.S. Be wary of situations where you HAVE to do their dirty “laundry” just to be near them. If someone is “paying” you to do something you would not otherwise do, they are your employer and may “fire” you.
Tanya Stewart is “The Alpha Woman Coach” and began coaching strong women as a Divorce lawyer in her own high conflict law firm 20 years ago. She understands how Alpha women are wired and using her Master’s level Metaphysics background and Advanced Clinical Certification in Hypnotherapy, she brings rapid change to people she works with.
She is a speaker, published author and Mensa member whose coaching is recommended by the World-Famous Motivator, Les Brown, Best-Selling Love Coach Greg Baer and International Change Expert, Dr. Eldon Taylor. She can teach you to separate struggle from success.