Reacting vs. Choosing
You know my two favorite coaching words are Stop It.
Especially, in this holiday season, I want you to stop reacting and start choosing.
Reactions Are FAST Because They Come From Your PAST
This is really simple. Your reactions are super fast. Lightning fast. How can they possibly happen that fast?
Because reactions bypass your conscious thought and decision making ability. That means those reactions are coming from your synthesis of things that of happened to you in the past that are similar.
Long story short, it means that they are your old fears and old stories.
When your brain recognizes an old fear or an old story, it knows just what it wants you to do about it, feel about it and say about it. THAT is where your reactions come from.
Triggered? Add in A Pause
There is a huge amount of freedom in being able to look at something (even something completely jacked up) and pause.
If you want to have a successful holiday season (by successful I mean you don’t have those one-way conversations in your head that start off with “This is the LAST time. I am never doing this crap again…“) – just add in a pause.
Add a pause after that person tells that completely inappropriate joke. Add a pause when no one says anything about the food it took you hours to prepare, after work. Add a pause when your loved ones give you whatever you could least want for a gift. Add a pause before anybody starts any political, gender, race or environmental discussions at the table.
The Pause does not mean you cannot decide to hand somebody their bottom on a platter. But it DOES mean, if you do that, that you DECIDED to do that. That makes all the difference when the consequences start being handed out!
Break the habit of reacting and start choosing. You honestly start feeling a lot more powerful. Letting dumb people tick you off is a sign of weakness on your part.
So let’s use those marvelous abilities Alphas have for self-control to stop reacting and take a pause…
P.S. Another good place to take a pause is on how elaborate your holiday activities are. The simpler you make them, the fewer opportunities for squirreliness. Reducing chances for disappointment, increases chances for happiness.
Tanya Stewart is “The Alpha Woman Coach” and began coaching strong women as a Divorce lawyer in her own high conflict law firm 20 years ago. She understands how Alpha women are wired and using her Master’s level Metaphysics background and Advanced Clinical Certification in Hypnotherapy, she brings rapid change to people she works with. She is a speaker, published author and Mensa member whose coaching is recommended by the World-Famous Motivator, Les Brown, Best-Selling Love Coach Greg Baer and International Change Expert, Dr. Eldon Taylor. She can teach you to separate struggle from success. ALL My videos are always on my Vimeo channel HERE Find Even More on the Resources page of the website: www.FearlessFocusCoaching.com/Resources